One of the hardest things I've had to deal with over my life is the disappointment I have to deal with with Church leaders and laity. True, none of us are perfect, but I can't help but hold people actively involved in the Church, to a higher standard. It's not a good expectation. It suggests that I am better than they and can judge their actions. But still, when things happen, when decisions are made that directly impact other people in a negative way, I have to take a position. I can't just sit on the fence.

We don't have a Life Teen organization at our parish anymore. There will be no youth minister or youth ministry for the time being. This is through no fault of the recently resigned youth minister. It is entirely about the whisperings of people who don't like Life Teen and a pastor who listens to them and, for his own unknown reasons, has not been supportive of Life Teen.

It is wrong to judge an entire group by the poor decisions of one couple and then question what kind of example other core members are providing. It is wrong to, on the one hand, say that half the core members must go because they are part of a couple and then, on the other hand, say that the omitted individual can be involved with Life Teen but just not be called a core member. It's confusing and, worse yet, deceitful. So rather than play this silly game aof bait and switch, the youth minister resigned.

I know this post is probably making no sense at all, and I've left out a lot of details but this is my world today and it's a disappointing world. I expect the actions of love and compassion and non-judgment to be hard at work in my world and over and over again and this isn't the first time I've seen it missing.

So - once again I will pull into my shell, pray and attend Mass as a devotion only between myself and my Lord and avoid interaction with the people. Talking with others about my feelings will only lead me into gossip and bitter speaking and the inability to understand, accept, and forgive.